Just Like Any Other Day
by xbutterflied
Summary: Another how they got together story. Very A/U.
1. Chapter 1

"Seriously, he turned around, giving me that look, the one where I know he wants something, he rarely gives it to me if I'm honest, but I know it, he knows how to get to me and does it so well, just with one look." Sara cursed as she got out of the steaming hot shower. She had left work after staying late with Grissom, trying to help him finish his god damn paperwork because he had a seminar he had to go off to this afternoon. Leaving Catherine in charge for three days. "Of course I couldn't say no. And he knew that, Ah! That man!" She had been hurt too many times by the very man she was cursing, in fact right now she was hurting because he couldn't even realise what he was doing to her, he'd say jump and of course she couldn't say no. She could never say no to that man. To Gil Grissom.

Drying down her body, she reached out for her coconut body butter, smoothing it over her freshly shaved legs, and up over her well toned stomach, making sure her body was moisturized before she had to get dressed and pick up Hayden from school, yes, Sara Sidle was a mother of a beautiful blue eyed curly haired boy who was now six years old. And thanks to Grissom she hadn't been able to get any sleep before picking him up. She knew that he was a good kid that would let her have a nap while he was doing his homework.

Pulling on her underwear, then her black pants with a red vest top, she ran a brush through her hair, shaking her head as she looked at her reflection, she looked tired, lately she had been tired a lot but she put it down to overworking and lack of sleep like this morning. Sighing she slipped her feet in her shoes, grabbing her cell phone and keys, she pulled on a light jacket and sunglasses before heading out to her car.

Getting to the school, Sara got out and rested her back against the side as she watched the doors, knowing she had a few minutes to wait, she ran her fingers through her hair and just took time to breathe, then she saw him, the one that she had carried for nine months and cared for ever since, her son Hayden Arthur Sidle-Grissom. Yes that's right, he was Grissom's son too.

The result of a drunken night in San Francisco, of course, Grissom knew he had a son, they even spent most weekends together, Grissom was a hands on father, he had promised Sara that he would be, but Hayden loved spending time at his dad's coming back with stories of what they had been doing or what he had learned about bugs, or science. Grissom was all about teaching him new things, Hayden was like his parents, more of a bookworm rather than an athlete, although he did run like his mom, that was about the only event he would take part in school sports days.

"Mom can I go see dad, I got this book from Miss Andrews and I want to show him." Hayden asked as he approached her, his hands holding out the book about volcanoes to her.

Sara smiled and shook her head, "Sorry buddy, dad is out of town at that seminar today. But when he gets back on Wednesday I can arrange dad to pick you up instead of me." She said opening the back door for him to climb into his booster seat.

"Okay, that would be cool, can I go have dinner with dad too?" He asked with a huge smile on his face as he pulled on his seatbelt, making sure it clicked he picked the book back up and looked at his mom as she sat in the drivers seat.

"I guess, since he's the better cook and all." She said playfully making fun of what Hayden frequently said to her when she made him food that he didn't like.

"YES! I get to have meat with dad!" He grinned, it was the only time he did, Sara never had meat in the house after that night she had spent out in the yard with Grissom and the pig.

Shaking her head, she put the car into gear and began to drive away from the school. "You two are welcome to meat, just keep it away from me." She said shuddering slightly as she looked back at him via the mirror.

"Mom we know you don't like it, that's why dad always making sure when I'm with him he gives me meat." Hayden smirked then looked down at the book. "You know, I have a project coming up, Miss Andrews told us about it today, we have to make a volcano!" He said excitedly. "But dad and I already did that so I'll just take that one into school." He said as matter of factly.

Leaving the meat conversation there, she listened to her son get excited about science, she loved that her son was so passionate about it all, but did feel a little hurt that she hadn't had the chance to help Hayden with the volcano project, not voicing her feelings she smiled covering it up. "Sounds good, dad will drop it off for you I'm sure." She said softly as she pulled into the store car park. "Lets go sunshine, we need more food in the house." She laughed a little as she opened the drivers door and got out of her seat then opened Hayden's door, letting him out then closing it and going into the store.

* * *

As the days flew past, Sara in her usual routine of looking after Hayden before her neighbour from across the hall would come sleep on Sara's pull out couch and be there for Hayden while Sara was working, then she'd get home just in time to get him ready for school before she got home to sleep for a few hours then get herself ready and go pick him up. Yes Sara had a pretty good routine going on, On a friday night, Grissom would pick Hayden from the school, then have him all weekend dropping him off at school on monday morning. The one thing about Grissom having him was when he worked, Grissom's mother Betty would stay at the house and look after Hayden.

Life was good, they didn't cross paths often in the world outside work, the occasional phone call about various parent issues, was about it. Sara had grown to like this set up, of course she could still remember the way Grissom's touch had her body on fire. But she couldn't let herself think about that, Grissom had made it clear that they couldn't have a relationship as much as Sara wanted to.

Wednesday morning arrived and Sara was glad to leave the lab, she knew Grissom was home on the seven am flight, she would call him after she had dropped Hayden off at school and ask him to pick Hayden up after school. She loved when Grissom took Hayden through the week as it gave her a chance to get extra sleep and she didn't have to cook which was another blessing.

Dropping Hayden off, Sara was on autopilot until she got in her front door, then slipping her feet from her shoes, she pulled out her cell phone and made her way into her bedroom. She sat down on the edge of her bed and looked through her contacts until she came to Grissom's cell number, knowing that it was best to call him on that number. Listening to the dialing tone, she leaned back on one arm as they other held the phone to her ear. Listening to him answer she smiled to herself, she loved to just talk to him, even if it was just a simple call like today was.

"Grissom." He answered sounding like he had caught a cold or flu.

"Hey, it's just me, Hayden was wondering if you could pick him up from school today?" She asked as she sat up straight, biting at her fingernail slightly.

"Oh hi, sorry… Yeah, sure, I can pick him up, does that mean dinner too?" He asked, then started coughing.

Sara was now concerned. "Yeah he said he was looking forward to meat. Are you okay? You're sounding a little choked up over there." She said softly as her back stiffened. She certainly didn't want Hayden catching any more illnesses, he was still suffering with a runny nose after the last cold he caught last month.

"Ah, meat, I'll have to take him past the store on the way home. I'm okay, just caught the cold that was going around at the seminar, I'll be fine though, I'm over the worst, I could hardly talk yesterday." He admitted as Sara's eyes widened slightly with a smirk on her lips.

"Wow and we missed that delight at the lab!" She sniggered a little. "Okay if you're sure, I mean I could go to the store if you need me to pick up a few things for you, after all, you'll be feeding and doing homework with our son, giving me more time to sleep." She grinned a little, truth be told she was looking forward to getting some decent sleep.

Gil smirked at her comment about the lab missing the fact he had almost lost his voice and her comment on sleep. "I picked up a few things on the way home from the airport, I'll be fine Sara, don't worry about me. So I'll pick up Hayden then do his homework and feed him before having him home for what, seven?" He asked then coughed again.

"I do get to worry, you're my son's father." She stated simply. "Plus I do see you as a friend Griss…" She paused giving them a moment of awkward silence. "Seven is good, gives him plenty of time to shower and get ready for bed." She spoke out, feeling he had no right telling her not to worry, of course she was going to worry, she was in love with him, only he was the one keeping her at arms length, he was the one that said that they couldn't have anything more than a friendship and even that was strained.

"Sara…" He said in a half warning tone. "I'll see you at seven." He ended their call without a goodbye, leaving Sara sitting on the end of her bed almost in tears, he kept doing this, every time she thought they were getting on okay, he would pull back, it was so hard to understand him. She just hoped that Hayden was never going to be as difficult as his father was.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N I am working on the sequel to Double Trouble, it's just taking a little more time, anyhooo, I've started this one, and it's going pretty well, I think, reviews would be great! Also suggestions for the name of a sequel to Double Trouble would be greatly received. Enjoy Chapter two ;)

* * *

After calming down from the phone call, Sara stripped down and grabbed a towel then headed to the bathroom and turned on her shower, letting it warm as she removed the light layer of makeup she had on. Stepping under the warm spray, she let the tears roll down her cheeks freely, this was the time when she didn't have to hide her feeling. Letting the water run down her body she slowly sunk to as she curled up into a ball, she hated this feeling, Grissom was always doing this to her, making her feel like she was worth nothing, that all she was good for was being the mother to his son, that's all he saw her as.

Sobbing for what seemed like ages she felt the water go cold before she stood back up and grabbed the towel after turning the shower off. She wrapped it around herself and made her way to the bedroom, drying off she pulled on her sweat pants and a loose fitting t-shirt before pulling back the covers and crawling into her bed. Looking at the clock, she read nine thirty she had nine and a half hours until Grissom brought Hayden home, plenty of time to catch up on the sleep she had been missing on for a long time. It didn't take long until she was asleep.

* * *

Waking to the sound of banging, Sara looked over at the clock as she ran her fingers through her hair and yawned. "Shit." She mumbled seeing it was five minutes past seven. She had slept soundly for nine and a half hours, a new record for her. She pulled back the covers and moving quickly through the apartment, she opened the door and plastered on a smile as she saw Hayden. "Hey buddy! Did you have fun at dads?" She asked moving to let them inside.

"Yeah, we are going to make a new volcano for the project, dad said he's got an idea how to make it better than the last one." Hayden said as he dropped his bag off in the usual spot as he walked into the living room.

Sara looked at Grissom and nodded as she heard what her son was saying. "Oh that sounds like fun." She spoke out softly as she ran her fingers through her hair again, trying to hold back a yawn.

"Did you get that much needed sleep then Sara?" Grissom asked as he saw the hidden yawn.

"I actually slept for nearly ten hours, I'd still be sleeping if you hadn't banged on the door." She admitted as she looked from Grissom to Hayden who was sitting looking at the volcano book Sara had picked up from the library for him, the day before.

"Ah, well I need to go, I'll see you in the lab. Hayden I'll see you friday after school. Be good." Grissom smiled at their son and nodded to Sara before he walked out the door that had never been shut, leaving Sara wondering if she even existed in Grissom's world.

Sara closed the door and turned to Hayden, "I am just going to get dressed, can you go get a quick, I mean quick shower, then it's bed time." She said knowing how hard bed time had gotten recently due to Grissom allowing Hayden to stay up later on the weekends. "I mean it, quick shower then bed, no arguing tonight." She sighed and pointed to the bathroom door.

"Okay, okay. I'm going." He moaned as he got up off the couch and headed into the bathroom. Sara sighed, even though she had gotten a lot of sleep she still felt tired, maybe it was just because her mood was low, or maybe it was because the way Grissom was making her feel, but right now, she felt like she could fall back asleep easily. Moving into her bedroom, she pulled out the clothes she was going to wear to work before getting dressed.

She heard the shower shutting off when she pulled on her socks. Getting up from the end of the bed, she went into the kitchen filling Hayden's hot water bottle then she walked through to see her son pulling on his pyjamas, she leaned against the door frame and smiled. "So I was thinking that maybe tomorrow afternoon we could go to that place out near lake mead for dinner?" She suggested as she walked pulling down the blankets and guiding him into bed.

"Sure, does that mean I can order anything to eat?" He smirked, he loved meat, it was something he got from his father, although Sara despised that he ate it, she wasn't about to stop him.

"I guess, if you have to have meat, at least don't make it obvious okay?" She smirked back as she gave him the hot water bottle and pulled up his blankets.

"Okay mom. Love you." He smiled as she leaned in and hugged him goodnight.

"I love you too buddy. See you in the morning." She spoke out as she kissed his cheek, checked the blankets were up around him okay. "Sleep well" She said as she moved away from the bed, looking back with a smile on her lips before she closed his door, turning off his light in the process.

Going into the kitchen, she opened the fridge door and pulled out a bottle of water, sipping out of it before setting it on the counter, she sighed. As much as she loved her son, she needed to get away, she needed a break from all this and it needed to be soon.

* * *

It had been a hour since Hayden had gone to bed, she looked up at the clock and sighed, sooner she got into work, the sooner she could get home and not have to deal with Grissom and his stupid comments, or lack of comments for a day, she was looking forward to having Thursday night off,a night where she could curl up on her couch and read a good book, a trashy novel or something on science, she wasn't sure what the mood would take her too, all she did know was that she was looking forward to it. Looking back at her laptop screen, the thought took her to hitting cheap sunny vacations into the google search bar.

Seeing various locations came up on her screen and she sighed, to narrow it down was going to be hard, instead she amended her search, adding the word beach in between sunny and vacations. Hawaii seemed to be a popular choice as she read down the list, knowing how she could go surfing there, she quickly looked into a vacation there, finding the perfect condo to rent for a week in Maui, Hawaii, she saved all the details, first she had to get vacation time from work and get Grissom to take Hayden for the week, closing down her laptop she ran her fingers through her hair as stood up, putting her laptop on her desk, she walked into her bedroom, putting on her shoes and grabbing her CSI vest, she knew that she'd have to leave soon.

Finding her way across the hallway to her neighbour, she gave her a knock, it was great her neighbour looked after Hayden for her, it worked out well as Hayden never really woke during the night, so her neighbour still got to sleep. Once her neighbour was in the apartment Sara rented, they had a few words, then Sara left for work, she needed to go in slightly early to talk to Grissom. Yes, this was going to be fun.

Getting to the lab, Sara went straight to the locker room, disposing of her jacket and bag, she attached her name badge and made sure her gun was securely fixed to her waist before locking her locker again. This was it, she had to go speak to Grissom.

Knocking on his office door, she watched as his eyes remained glued to the paperwork he was working on. "Come in." He said muffled by the fact he was reading.

Sara stepped inside, closing the door quietly behind her before she made her way to his desk, sitting in one of the two empty chairs across the desk from him. Crossing her left leg over her right, she slid her hands between her thighs and watched the man who had fathered her son, the guy who had said she wasn't worth the risk, that nothing could ever happen between them. "Griss, I was just wondering if we could discuss some vacation time." She said biting on her bottom lip slightly.

Seeing him look up from his paperwork, she watched as he set down his pen. "When were you thinking?" He asked.

Sara was nervous. "As soon as possible, it's not just time off from here though, I was wondering if you could look after Hayden while I get away for a week." She said softly as she looked over at him "I have to go, I need to get my head cleared Griss." She said as she feared her eyes were starting to fill with tears.

"Of course I can look after Hayden, I'd do anything for him, you know that." He answered her as he reached into his drawer for a file, opening it up he looked down the sheets. "I can cover you from friday night for a week if that is any good to you, after that it won't be for a month, Jack has two weeks then Hilary has two weeks." He explained. "So it would be friday until friday." He explained as he looked up at her seeing tears filling her eyes. "Do you want to talk about it Sara?" He asked as he picked up his pen.

"I know, and thank you, that would be perfect, tomorrow is my day off anyway, is their any chance you could pick up Hayden and keep him from tomorrow afternoon?" She asked knowing she could get a flight as early as lunchtime the next day.

"Sure, I'll call my mother in the morning and ask her to come stay with us for the week so she can be there for Hayden during the night." Grissom spoke out, noticing that Sara had avoided his question. "You know you can talk to me about whatever's bothering you." He added.

Sara shook her head. "Thank you, and I doubt you would want to hear what I've got to say." She paused, biting on her bottom lip for a second. "Especially since I wasn't worth taking the chance." She said closing her eyes and wiping her tears away quickly.

"Sara…" He dragged out her name as he looked at her. She looked over at him and shook her head.

"Griss you know what I'm talking about, you aren't willing to take the chance and see how great it could be between us." She sobbed a little as she wiped more tears away. She could feel that Grissom was unsure as to what to say, she looked up at him, letting him see what he was doing to her. "You know what, just let me go, I need to clear my head, I need to try move on." She paused again and shook her head. "Who am I kidding, Griss it's always been you and it will always be you, I just have to realise as much as my heart wants you, it's not going to have you, not fully anyway, and before you say it, friendship doesn't count." She spoke out softly.

"Sara, I don't know what to say." He sighed.

"There isn't much you can say Grissom, you're not willing, I mean look at the life we created together, isn't he amazing? Doesn't that just show you that we would be amazing together." Sara sighed as she stood up. "Look I'll work tonight, then I'm away tomorrow. I'll tell Hayden I'm going and I'll pack up some of his things and drop them off on the way to the airport." She walked towards the door, taking a deep breath trying to calm herself down. "Don't worry about me." was her final words before she left his office and headed to her own office she shared with Nick, Warrick and a few other CSI's.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N YOUR REVIEWS ARE LOVE. 3 Honestly thank you so much, I love hearing what you think of my story, please keep reviewing! I'm currently working on the next chapter, so hopefully it will be up within the next few days, weekdays are hectic for me at the best of times!

* * *

The shift went quicker than Sara expected, of course Grissom had ignored her all night, not so much ignored but avoided, of course he would talk to her if they had to talk work things, he had asked her to hand all her open cases to Nick and Warrick making sure that all loose ends were taken care off. Of course she already had thought of all that and had gathered all her notes together for them. Glad that she was leaving this all for a week, she needed time to clear her head and this was the only way that she could think about doing so. Giving the notes and files on each cases to Nick and Warrick, Sara soon found herself grabbing her car keys and her purse from the locker room.

She walked past Grissom's office on her way out, leaning against the frame of the door. "I should be past yours at about eleven, my flight is at one so I'm just going to get there slightly earlier." Sara explained, ignoring giving him any courtesy hellos. Seeing him nod his head, but his lips not going to form any words she shook her head and sighed. "Bye." She said curtly then walked away and headed out to her car, she hated this, Hayden was the only thing that was keeping her going right now, but she was going to leave him with Grissom for a week, and she did feel guilty, but then again, she knew that Hayden would love spending so much time with Grissom. He was a daddy's boy and had always been.

It took her all of the hour before she had to get Hayden to school for him to get ready, eat his breakfast and talk to him about the fact he'd be staying with Grissom for a week, maybe even more because it fell on the weekend when she came home. he was fine with it like she had suspected, but had asked her to call at least once a day to let him know that she was okay. Sara found it cute and heartwarming when he had said that to her, so much so it had brought a tear to her eye and caused her to wrap her arms around him, kissing the top of his head and promising to call.

Once Hayden had been dropped off at school Sara headed home and started to pack what she required, making sure she had her kindle charger, she quickly downloaded five new novels, knowing that she would fly through them as she laid out on the beach. Finishing with her case, she then went into Hayden's room, grabbing everything she knew he'd need she neatly packed it all so it was organised, making sure his gym kit was all clean she put it in along with everything. Loading up her car, Sara then had a quick shower, freshening up before she had a long flight.

Driving to Grissom's house, she knew that he would probably be sleeping but Hayden's things were needing to be dropped off, and she had told him that she was going around at about eleven. Pulling up in the spare parking space next to Grissom's car, Sara parked hers and cut off the engine. Going into the back seat, she pulled out the two bags she had for Hayden, she put one of the holdalls on her shoulder, Sara carried the other one in her hand as she walked up to the entrance of Grissom's home, knocking on the door, she waited for him to answer.

"Sara." He nodded as he opened the door wider so she could enter. Sara took the invitation and walked into his home, she could tell that he was a dad, the house was just that way, it had things of Hayden's laying around, his outdoor shoes sitting at the door, coats and jumpers hung on the coat hooks above them, she looked at Grissom as she held out one bag for him to take.

"Where would you like these?" Sara asked as she signalled to the bags, they weren't big bags, but they had enough to keep Hayden going with a selection of his favorite clothes, pyjamas, uniforms for school and various other items. She looked as he took the bags from her.

"I'll put them up to his room in a little while. So are you heading off this afternoon?" He asked as Sara looked at him in disbelief, he was being polite, although he hadn't remembered her saying that she was leaving that afternoon.

"Yes, my flight is at one, I'll be back next thursday evening, back in time to get my sleep pattern back to normal for Saturday." She explained. "I'll have my cell if you need to get in touch with me." She added. "Hayden wants me to call him everyday while I'm away."

"Okay, sounds like sense. And okay, I'm sure Hayden will want to call you too." He said with a slight smile. Sara didn't know what to say, of course their son would want to speak to her, they had a strong bond too.

"Okay, well I should go, you need to sleep before you have to pick Hayden up. And I need to check in. I'll speak to you when I land in Hawaii." She said running her fingers through her hair. Seeing his nod, she moved back towards the door, opening it again, she looked over at him.

"Have a nice vacation Sara." Grissom spoke out as she stepped out the door, this time she said no words, she just nodded and walked away.

* * *

She was here, Hawaii, not just in Hawaii she was standing in her condo she had rented for the week, looking out onto the ocean, Sara could feel the breeze on her face from it, causing her to smile, she was glad she was away from Las Vegas, carrying her cases to the bedroom, she opened them up and pulled out the little black dress she had packed, she was going to take a well deserved break with a drink in the bar she had walked past on her way to the condo.. Getting changed, she looked at her watch she realised that Hayden would have been picked up from school already. with Las Vegas being two hours ahead in time, Sara saw it was four in the afternoon with her which meant it was six in Vegas, she knew that Grissom would have fed Hayden already, she reached over the bed, pulling her cell phone from her jeans pocket, she quickly scrolled to Grissom's cell number, hitting dial, she put her phone up to her ear and waited for him to answer.

"Mom!" She smiled as she heard Hayden's voice on the other end. "Guess what? Grandma said that she's going to make me pancakes for breakfast!" Hayden said excitedly. Even though Betty Grissom was deaf, Sara and Hayden had taken part in a few ASL lessons, although Grissom had taught Hayden sign language too so Hayden could communicate with her any time.

"Hey sweetheart, that sounds great, I'm sure grandma makes awesome pancakes! So did you have a good day at school?" She asked softly as she walked through the condo, stopping in the living area and taking a seat on the couch as she spoke to her son. They spent about thirty minutes on the phone chatting about everything and anything before Grissom said it was time to go shower and get ready for bed. Hanging up Sara leaned back against the couch, feeling sad that she wasn't there with Hayden, putting him to bed, giving him a hug and a goodnight kiss, it was one of her favorite times of the day.

After having a few moment's Sara stood up, straightening out her dress as she walked back to the bedroom, clearing the bed of all her luggage, she looked over at her opened suitcase in the corner and pulled out her shortie pyjamas, tonight she wasn't going to go drinking, instead she was going curl up and read for a while, get lost in whatever novel she had downloaded earlier and then get as much sleep as she could. Before changing out of her dress, she quickly took a selfie as she stood with her back looking out into the ocean, showing everyone that she was in a great location but the smile on her lips was fake. Uploading the photo to facebook, she hash-tagged the photo with #muchneededbreak.

Changing she set her dress back on top of her suitcase and then got into her pajamas grabbing a glass of icy water from the kitchenette area, she took a sip on the way to pick up her kindle from her hand luggage on the chair in the bedroom, she headed back into the living area and curled up in the chair., it wasn't how people would imagine spending the first afternoon in Hawaii, but Sara wanted to relax, forget that the world existed and most of all that Grissom existed.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Sorry it's taken nearly a week for an update! What a week! Sorry again, anyway, here is another chapter for you lovely readers, I love reading your thoughts so keep the reviews coming (: Enjoy!

* * *

The next morning as Sara woke up, she nuzzled her face into her pillow a little more, hating that she had to wake from her dream, it had been wonderful, Grissom had actually noticed her, for the woman she was, not just a member of his team, he had swept her off her feet one night after Hayden had gone to bed. It was perfect, all her memories from their night together was flooding back during the dream and she woke up with her body turned on to the highest. Crying out into the pillow, half from sexual frustration and half from the fact she was awake, she really hated when she woke like this.

Getting out of bed, Sara grabbed the few things she needed to get ready to shower, setting out her red bikini on the bed, she was planning on seeing what the beach was like, this week she was going to take it easy, she wanted time away from the busy streets of Las Vegas, the constant call of being mom and most of all she wanted away from him, but he was even filling her dreams now.

Once she had showered, gotten dressed and made sure she had plenty of sunscreen on , she wrapped her sarong around her waist and grabbed the beach bag she had a towel and a bottle of water inside. Pulling on her sunglasses, she slipped her cell phone in her bag and then headed towards the beach from her condo, flip flops on her feet, She found a spot near her condo and spread out the towel before she lay down, on her back she closed her eyes and just relaxed, letting the sound of the ocean let her thoughts disappear.

After spending the morning and most of the afternoon on the beach, Sara soon made her way back to the condo, she needed to eat something and fancied trying the restaurant she had seen nearby, pulling on a thin t-shirt and shorts on top of her bikini, she slipped her feet in to her light shoes and grabbing her purse, she quickly grabbed her cell phone from her beach bag and put it in her shorts pocket, deciding not to carry much cash and leave her bank cards in her suitcase, keeping them safe, she was now ready to go out.

Heading out, she headed to the restaurant, getting a small table in the corner, Sara looked at the menu, deciding on what she was going to have, she told the waitress asking for an extra glass of water then for the first time that day she actually looked at her phone, checking that no one had been trying to contact her, she opened her facebook app and saw Greg and Nick's comments on her picture she had posted the day before along with Catherine, Warrick and a few others liking it, they did cause a smile on her lips before she was distracted away from her phone when the waitress returned with her glass of water and a fruit juice cocktail, she had decided not to drink alcohol until after she had eaten.

The evening went slowly, enjoying her meal, she took a walk along the front while she called Hayden, hearing his voice did make her miss home, where really she was just missing him. Headed into the bar, ordering a beer, she took a seat at the end of the bar, just taking everything in that was going on around her, smiling and nodding hello to a couple of friendly looking people, she soon finished her first beer and started on her second. That's when he approached her. He was tall, taller than she was but he was built well with it, not carrying any extra weight, he had deep brown eyes, dark short hair, Dressed in a pair of surfer shorts and a vest top, he sat down next to her, Sara looked at him, deciding that he was in his mid thirties, like herself, she nodded a hello and then sipped from her beer.

She was near the end of her second bottle when she heard the guy beside her offer her another. Nodding, she turned slightly to him. "Thank you." She said as she looked at him properly for the first time, he was handsome in his own way, his eyes were deep and soulful, his smile was cute and it was just something about him, he seemed to be a nice enough man, someone to keep the boredom away while she was there.

"You're very welcome, I'm Adam." He said holding out his hand, being polite, Sara smiled and quickly shook his hand before finishing off her bottle of beer.

"Sara, so are you here on vacation?" Sara asked as she set her empty bottle on the bar.

"Yes, I'm here from Waco, Texas, yourself?"

"Las Vegas." She said simply as she watched the bartender set down their drinks, noticing the shot glass next to her beer, she raised an eyebrow at him. He smirked and nodded.

"No harm in a shot or two." He stated as he lifted his one. shaking her head, she looked at the drinks and then back at him.

"I'd rather not, I'm not one to down shots, beers are my limit." It wasn't that Sara wouldn't usually do them but right now, she knew no one around her, she didn't trust herself getting drunk, and not have someone there to look after her.

"Well your loss." He said grabbing her shot and downing it then looked at her. "So are you here by yourself, or do you have someone here with you?" He asked grabbing his bottle of beer.

Sara sipped from her third bottle of beer, and thought for a moment, she could lie, tell him her partner and son were back at the condo… but what if she ended up wanting to having a vacation romance with him, lying would get her no where. "I'm by myself, having a break away from everything back home." She admitted softly, bringing the bottle to her lips once again, she took a decent gulp this time.

"Ah, I'm here with the guys." He spoke out as he pointed to the group sitting over at one of the tables. "It's Harry's last weekend of freedom, he's getting married next Saturday." He said turning back to Sara.

"Sounds like fun, so I'm guessing that I'm some kind of a dare then?" Sara guessed, she had seen crime scenes come out of these kind of scenarios, knowing she needed to slow down on the beers, being more aware that she was alone in a place hundreds of miles away from home.

"Kind of, they dared me to come over and buy you a drink, I've done that, but I don't want to go back to them any time soon." Adam said with a smile on his lips. Sara watched him as he spoke, she knew that with the way he was acting, he was quite the ladies man, and there was more to the dare than he had told her. Deciding to not take that conversation any further, Sara just nodded simply.

She sat there, making general conversation with this man as he sat smiling at her, they had another two beers together before Sara decided that five beers were enough for that night, she stood up and begun to say goodbye when he offered to walk her back to her condo. Unsure that it was a good idea, Sara declined his offer and patted his chest lightly. "Go be with your friends, looks like they need your help." Sara said as she saw one of them almost asleep at the table.

She managed to get away from the bar and was walking towards her condo, her purse in hand, she was ready to curl up and finish another few chapters of her novel on her kindle when she got back, she was busy looking out at the ocean when she heard footsteps come up behind her.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N I know some of you will not like this, but it's part of the story that has been playing in my head since before I started writing this, so please stick with it, I hope to have an other chapter up for you guys tomorrow so you won't be left hanging for long. Please keep the reviews coming. I love reading your thoughts.

* * *

Spitting out as she reached the sink, Sara could taste the blood in her mouth while she felt the horrible feeling of blood trickling down her thigh. She had been sexually attacked, She had been raped. She hated that word at the best of the times, but right now she felt numb like she didn't know how to feel,, she knew that she should report it, but she was fixed in the position she was in, hands gripping the sink as she looked at her reflection blurry in the mirror. Tears filling her eyes, she bit down on her bottom lip, only to realise that was the wrong thing to do, her face was swollen from where he had smacked her as she had tried to fight him off, she sunk down to her knees as she pulled her cell phone from her shorts pocket, which lay on the floor beside her. As soon as she had been able to get away from him, and had managed to grab all her belongings that he had ripped away from her, she had been surprised that she had managed to get away from him, but after getting her knee in his groin she had pulled herself away and ran to the condo locking the door behind her.

Scrolling to her last dialed she hit Grissom's number and waited for him to answer, right now she needed to hear a familiar voice, she wanted to talk to Hayden, he was the one voice that would calm her down. Hearing Grissom's normal answer. she swallowed down another mouthful of blood. "Hey, it's me, I was wondering if I could talk to Hayden." She asked as she tried to sound as normal as she could. Her one free arm wrapped around her waist holding tightly.

"Sara, I'm at work, in the middle of a crime scene, Hayden is at home with mom, asleep! You do realise it's one am here." Grissom snapped.

"Oh, sorry I let time get away from me, I'm sorry. I'll let you get back to work, can you have Hayden call me in the morning then?" Sara responded as she raised her hand from her waist to wipe away the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Okay,I'll have him call. Speak to you then." Grissom said as he hung up the phone, not giving Sara any time to respond, she closed her eyes as she let her cell phone fall to the floor with a loud bang, she felt so dirty, she could believe that it had happened to her, he had been so strong that when she had fought back she had been fighting a losing battle, although she had managed to scratch him, getting his DNA under her fingernails, the only good point, she now had a few good DNA samples that would hold up in court.

After a few moments, Sara found herself dialling 911. this guy, Adam from Texas was not going to get away with raping Sara Sidle. She quickly told them where she was and that she had been raped in the alley just around the corner from the condo, knowing not to do anything, to wash away any evidence she sat where she was until she heard the knocking at the door.

The police had done the standard questioning while then a female officer and one of their crime scene team members had taken Sara to the hospital where she had gone through a rape kit and various exams by the doctor, finally getting the morning after pill for safety more than anything as Sara was already on the regular pill to control her periods.

It took a couple of hours, but all the evidence and reports had been done, Sara was now free to scrub her skin raw without worrying about ruining evidence. Closing the door after the police officers had left, she made sure it was locked along with every other window and door, holding the robe tight around herself she made her way to the bathroom and turned on the shower to as hot as it would go, she wanted to wash the feeling of him from her body, she didn't care if the spray of the shower was hot enough to burn her, she just needed to wash the feel of him from her.

She grabbed a towel, making sure that it was within reach of her, she then stepped under the spray, letting it wash away all the blood and dirt, she grabbed her shower puff and put some shower gel on to it before scrubbing away at her body, repeating the actions god knows how many times, she felt the water eventually turn cold. Her skin was red raw when she stepped out of the shower. Wrapping the towel around herself, she then grabbed clothes, thankful she had taken her sweats with her for relaxing in, she pulled them on and pulled her hair back into a messy bun before starting to pack up everything.

She knew that she couldn't stay in Hawaii any longer, she had to get the first flight she could get back to Las Vegas. She needed to be near people that she trusted, the Hawaiian police had asked if she could give them a contact for back in Vegas, and although her mind screamed Grissom, the name she told them was Captain Jim Brass, but she really needed to be with people she knew she'd be safe around, even if they did keep pushing her away. She really needed Grissom, but was too scared to tell him what had happened, she knew that she'd have to tell him soon, he would see the bruising that covered her face and arms, amongst other areas of her body, not that he'd see them, but her knowing they were there was bad enough.

Using her phone, she managed to change her flights from Thursday morning to Saturday afternoon, just enough time to get her money back from the condo letting agency and to talk to the police, give them her contact details for back in Las Vegas. She knew this was going to be a struggle, but she hoped that the would all be able to work around it, that she would not have to go back to Hawaii again. She just wanted to be home.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N Thank you for all the reviews and sticking by the story, I promise you that it will get happy soon! (: Reviews make me happy and encourage me to write faster, if only there were more hours in the day!

* * *

The flight home seemed to drag on, and she couldn't help the feeling of everyone's eyes on her, did they know her secret, that not even twenty four hours ago she had been attacked. Thankfully the police had told her they had gotten Adam in custody already and that it looked like it was going to be a open close case, that he would be charged soon enough and sent to a prison near his hometown, in Texas.

Sara was thankful that she wouldn't have to testify in Hawaii, they had been so nice and helpful at the police station when she had been there giving them her contact information for back in Las Vegas, knowing she could trust Jim Brass with any correspondence they needed, she would talk to him when she got home, let him know what had happened and that she didn't want anyone else knowing about it, he could keep her secret, she knew that and she knew that she could trust him.

Getting back to Vegas finally, Sara was so glad to be back. Going to the long stay car park, she found her car easily and drove home, she didn't want anyone to see her in the state she was in, she could feel her jaw swollen, although it wasn't evident she just ached, all she wanted was to be in her home, with the door's locked. Driving through the familiar streets she had come to know so well over the past few years, she pulled up outside her apartment building only to see Jim Brass's car sitting there too, sighing she parked her car and stepped out of the drivers seat, closing her door, she went to the trunk of her car and started to take her luggage out when she heard Jim come up behind her.

"You should have called me." He stated as he grabbed the heaviest suitcase and then picked up her hand luggage, he wasn't about to let her lift anything. Sara jumped a little as she watched Jim take her bags, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath she let it out and wrapped her arms around herself.

"I was going to, once I got upstairs, and please, don't creep up on me." She said as she reached up to close the trunk, only to cry out a little in pain.

"I'm sorry Sara. Hey, let me do that." He said as he grabbed the trunk and closed it for her. "So the Hawaii PD filled me in." He spoke out as he made his way into the building with Sara.

"Yeah, did they send over my case file?" Sara asked as she held the door open for Jim, one arm fixed around her waist.

"They did, I'm sorry Sara, it sounds like you've not had a very good vacation at all. But hey, you came home to my wonderful face." He tried to make it light hearted, to bring a smile to her face, even if it was just a little one.

"Jim, it wasn't your face I came home for." She said then gave him a little grin knowing she still had her sense of humor. "Talking of which, you've not told Grissom or anyone have you?" She asked as she pushed the elevator button. Waiting for the doors to open she looked at the shorter man beside her.

"That hurts Sara." He faked as he gave her a smile. Listening to her question he shook his head. "No one knows, if you want anyone to know then it is up to you to tell them." He spoke out softly while walking into the empty elevator. He set one bag down as he looked over at Sara who was pushing the button to her floor.

"Thank you. I don't want anyone to know, god I'm embarrassed enough that it happened, not to mention humiliated, I'm a trained crime scene investigator and I couldn't defend myself, do you realise how humiliating that is?" Watching as the elevator close behind them.

"You have no reason to be humiliated, Sara I saw photographs of him, you're lucky you got out of there with the injuries you got. It could have been a lot worse." Jim spoke softly. He felt the elevator move as he watched Sara wrap her arms around herself, something he had never seen her do, somewhat a defence position.

"I sat in the bar having beers with him, I talked to him, then I left him with his friends only for him to chase me down and… well you know what happened." She said looking away from him, trying to hold back the tears. She hated to let anyone see her cry.

"It is not your fault, Sara you have to believe that." Jim moved so he could touch her arm, show her that he was there for her, just as he touched her arm she flinched. "How many crime scenes have you worked, that you've seen this happen? It is something that just happens, no one can explain what goes on in someone's mind. What causes them to be nasty pieces of ass that don't deserve to breath." Jim said as he took his hand back, knowing that Sara just needed personal space, she didn't need people crowding her.

Sara realised she had flinched but couldn't stop the feeling that she needed to get some space between them. She looked over at Jim as he spoke. "It's all well saying that, but being at this side, it's different, Jim, I'm scared, I keep thinking he's just around the corner, that he's going to jump me again." Sara admitted as the elevator doors opened again and she jumped a little at the ping.

"Sara he's in custody in Hawaii, he's not going to come near you again." He was worried about the woman he had grown fond of over the past few years. "Sara honey, it's going to be okay, you have to believe that." He soothed as she stepped off the elevator holding the doors open for him.

Soon enough they were at her door as she pushed her key into the lock. He followed her inside, and watched as she locked and put the chain across the door. He set the bags down next to the door leading to the bedrooms. He looked at the brunette and took a deep breath. "Do you want me to stay here with you?" He asked softly.

Shaking her head at his question. "I have to get back to normal right?" She half asked half stated as she looked over at him. "I'll be okay, I just need to be by myself for a bit. And if you see any of the team, don't tell them I'm home okay?" She asked as she sat down on the breakfast bar stool her arms returning to wrap around her.

"Sara, you know I'll be right here if you need me, just call me okay?" Jim really didn't want to leave her, but he had to respect her wishes. "I won't tell anyone anything, as far as I know, you're having a lovely vacation in Hawaii!" He said softly as he walked over to the door, undoing the chain he turned and looked at her. "Please call me if you need anything okay?"

Sara nodded as she stood up and walked over to him. "Thank you and what a lovely vacation it was." She sighed reaching for the lock behind Jim. "I will call if I need anything, and keep me up to date with the case okay?" She asked as she opened the door for him.

"I'll call if I hear anything." He said as he walked out the door. "Take care Sara." He walked down the hall to the elevator as Sara watched him leave before closing her door, locking and putting the chain across before wrapping her arms around herself and sliding to the floor, finally letting the tears fall.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N And here we are, another update, sorry it's not very long, but I promise you all, the next chapter is drama filled, long and gonna make you want more! Haha or so I hope! Anyway as always reviews and 3 and please keep them coming! Enjoy!

* * *

Sara didn't leave her apartment for anything, in fact she didn't do much at all, after showering several times, she still could feel him on her body, so she showered some more, usually until the water went cold. She hated this feeling, she just wished that she could feel normal again, but knew that she was far from feeling normal. She constantly felt dirty, her body was red from all the scrubbing she had been doing in the shower, her hair was tied back because she didn't feel up to styling it like she would normally do.

She had been home for three days, she had two more days before Grissom and Hayden thought she'd be back in Las Vegas, and three days before she was due back at work. Thankfully her face was less swollen and she was less bruised, but the scars ran deeper than just physical, she was emotionally scarred and she didn't know how she was going to manage going back out into the real world. She knew she had to plaster on her cover, no one could know that she had gone through this, she didn't need anyones sympathy, she didn't think she could handle it.

Avoiding the kitchen, Sara had spent most of her time between the bathroom and being curled up on her bed. she hadn't eaten, food was just an off put in her eyes, but she had managed to drink some water, just so she didn't dehydrate. Her stomach turned if she saw food, and if she was honest it was probably a lot to do with her mental state. Knowing that mental health was a problem in her family history, she didn't let her mind think about that. She just didn't let her mind think at all, she tried to sleep as much as she could when she wasn't scrubing her skin red raw.

Hearing a knock at the door, she ignored it, no one but Jim knew she was home, and she wasn't about to open the door right now. Rolling back over in her bed she grimaced at the feel of herself landing on a bruise that was on her hip from the rock it had been pushed against. Seeing her phone light up she sighed, seeing Jim's number flash on the screen she answered it,

"Hey, I'm not in the mood for company right now Jim, is it important?" She asked as she closed her eyes hoping he wasn't going to push the issue and ask her to let him inside.

"No sweetie it's not important, I just wanted to know if you were okay." He explained as he walked down the hallway, leaving her apartment, knowing that she needed space. "I'll be here for you if you need anything okay, I'm just a call away." He added before stepping into her elevator.

Sara was thankful that he had listened to her as she ended the call and closed her eyes again. Wishing that it, her attack, rape, whatever people titled it hadn't happened.

* * *

It was the day she was due home, knowing that Grissom and Hayden would be waiting to hear from her when she was landed back in Las Vegas, she timed it well when she called Grissom. He answered in his usual manner as she cringed, she didn't want to do this but she had to, her face was still bruised up and her body still felt like she had been hit by a bus as she wasn't doing much apart from sleeping. She sighed. "I've missed the flight and I can't get another one until tomorrow afternoon, which is going to get me in late for my shift." She explained as he bit down on her fingernail.

"You are kidding me Sara! What about Hayden? he's missed you all week and you go and do this?" He snapped as he walked through to his home office.

"I know, I'm sorry, it's just my cab was late and then they wouldn't let me check in because of some idiot in front of me, by the time they had dealt with him, I was too late. I've just gotten checked into the airport motel so I'll get the next available flight but they can't get me on any earlier than tomorrow afternoon." Sara explained.

"Fine, I'll explain it to Hayden when I pick him up from school. So I take it you'll want tomorrow night off work too?" He said slightly aggravated.

"Tell him I'm sorry and that I'll make it up to him." Sara commented as she looked out the window of her living room. "If that's not too much trouble, I mean I'll not be getting into Las Vegas until two am anyway, so half the shift is gone by then."

"I'll pass that on, I've got to go I'm about to go collect our son from school. I'll see you when you eventually get home." He said before hanging up in his usual manner, leaving Sara to look at her phone before making sure the call was ended. She sighed sitting down on the couch she pulled her knees up to her chin, she yet had to eat a meal since the attack, sips of water was all she could handle without the sick feeling rising in her stomach. She had lost weight, feeling her pants a little slacker than they had been, but she doubted anyone would notice that.

Staring at the blank tv screen, Sara was lost in her own thoughts, she had just bought herself some more time to try get herself out of the rut she had fallen into. pressing her forehead against her knees, she bit down on her bottom lip and felt the tears again, why had she been so stupid as to let him chat with her, or even tell him she had been alone on vacation, she had been stupid and she felt stupid, she just wished that she could get over this feeling and move on with her life, she had been raped, millions of women managed to live a day to day life afterwards, why couldn't she.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N Wow! I can't believe we are at chapter eight already! Thank you for all your lovely reviews, they are amazing and make me want to write more for you guys! Anyway here is chapter eight, I hope you enjoy and please review so I can do my happy dance! xD

* * *

So the day had finally come where Sara could no longer hide. She had to go to work and face everyone, paint a happy smile on her face and carry on like nothing had ever happened. After another skin scrubbing shower, she wrapped a towel around herself and headed to her wardrobe, pulling out her black work pants and a roll neck, long sleeved top, she grabbed her thin sweater and quickly dressed, looking away from the mirror as she hated the sight of her body, covered in bruises and just the dryness of her skin from all the scrubbing. Once she was dressed, she grabbed her makeup bag and put on a layer of makeup making sure that there was no hint of bruising showing through, deciding that she looked as normal as she could she slipped her makeup bag into her purse and took one final check in the mirror. Every piece of her body was covered apart from her face and hands.

Grabbing her purse and keys, she had already made sure that she had her gun on her hip along with her ID and her cell phone on her belt too, This was it, she was going back to work. To be honest, she knew that in herself she wasn't ready for it, but she couldn't let people know what had happened to her, she just had to fake it, this was going to be harder than her fake hiding her love for Grissom, but she was going to do it.

Getting to the lab, she parked her car and took a deep breath, looking at herself in the mirror once again she was satisfied that her bruising was covered and that she looked okay, she took her time in getting to the locker room, slipping her jacket and purse into her locker, she quickly locked it and headed into the break room, she was the first one there, thanking whoever she headed to the coffee machine and poured herself one before taking a sip and feeling her stomach churn, she was about to pour the coffee down the drain when she saw Nick walk into the room and handed it to him, saying she had poured it for him, then reached into the fridge and grabbed a water, convincing Nick that she was going to continue her good diet habits by giving up coffee after her vacation. 'So far so good' she said to herself inside her head.

The room soon filled with the night shift team, Sara sat at the table sipping at her water slowly while answering a few questions and Greg and Nick filling her in on what had been happening around the lab. It was light, easy even, she wasn't feeling like everyone's eyes were on her like she had thought it would feel like.

She was dreading seeing Grissom as she hadn't been past to pick Hayden up yet and had said that it was the weekend anyway so Hayden could stay with him so she could get the house sorted before he came home. Where in fact she didn't know if she was ready to look after anyone when she felt she was losing control of herself. Grissom took that moment to walk into the room and looked directly at Sara, she just gave him a small smile and then sipped at her water again.

He quickly dished out the assignments for the night and asked Sara to work with him, a rare thing in itself, he hardly ever paired himself with her, instantly she wondered if Brass had actually said something, eyeing up Grissom she knew that she couldn't really tell if he knew or not. Deciding that it was stupid trying to figure out if Brass had told she pulled her cell and text the man in question and asked him, getting a quick reply back saying 'I promised I wouldn't and I haven't ' She knew she was being paranoid but after all she had been through, she was on edge, she knew she could trust Brass, but the doubts filled her mind.

The night went slowly, Grissom being his usual quiet self, which Sara was thankful for, she was happy to work in silence, although she had been wrapping her arms around herself and looking over her shoulder or jumping at the slightest sound. Of course she didn't think anyone seen her nervousness.

It was when it came to break time when she was sitting on the chair in the corner, reading the results they had already gotten back while nursing her bottle of water. Nick was the first to notice she wasn't eating. Touching her arm as she focused on the papers in front of her she pulled her arm back away from him quickly and looked at him and heard his question , "I'm not hungry, my stomach is still iffy after flying last night." Of course she was lying, but Nick didn't even think to question her on it. He just walked away and did whatever he was going to do.

The next moment that caused her to flinch was when she was getting results from Hodges, he was handing her the file when his hand grazed hers and she pulled her hand back quickly, glaring slightly at him, but then thanking him for the results. She soon left him, her breath catching in her chest as she made her way to the locker room and took a seat on the bench getting her breathing back to normal.

Going into the layout room where Grissom was, she set down the file she had gotten from Hodges and started to look at everything. They worked in silence, Grissom focused on the clothing in front of him. asking her to turn off the lights, he started up the UV light and flashed it near her face then he saw it, nothing could be hidden with the UV light, he could see the bruise on her face, deciding that now was not the time to question her on why she was supporting bruises on her face, he set it to the back of his mind while Sara continued none the wiser.

As she walked into the breakroom, Sara had her arms folded around her waist she walked over to the fridge and grabbed yet another bottle of water, at least she could say she wasn't dehydrated, but lack of food was evident in the fact she had done her belt up an extra notch when she had gotten dressed. Taking another sip, she didn't hear Catherine come in behind her, and when she asked about why Sara was dressed for winter instead of the late spring like it was, she shook her head, biting on her lip as she felt anxious, "It's colder here than in Hawaii, plus I think I'm starting with a cold, best to keep wrapped up." She answered before leaving with her arms wrapped tightly around her slim figure.

What Sara didn't realise was Grissom had seen each incident and was starting to add up things in his head. Something wasn't right with Sara Sidle and Gilbert Grissom was going to find out.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N Sorry for the lack of updates, I've been suffering from a sinus and chest infection ): feeling a bit better now so managed to write out this chapter for you all (: Hope you like it! As always reviews are love!

* * *

Leaving the lab, Sara had finished her shift on time and not a minute over, she had been watching the time all shift and was glad she could go home to the only place she felt safe. Clocking out, she made her way to the locker room and grabbed her jacket and purse. I didn't take her long to leave the lab, sitting in her car she let out a huge breath, glad she had gotten through one shift that no one had questioned her on the bruise on her face, or figured out she had a secret. The drive home was quiet, she didn't bother with the radio or her usual choice of CD.

Inside her apartment she stripped down to her panties and a vest top, grabbing a pair of her sweat pants and a t-shirt she got comfortable before going to the bathroom she heard a knock at her front door, forgetting to cover her arms that still supported a few bruises and her dry skin. She walked over to the door and opened it to find Grissom at the other side of it. She looked at him and opened the door further, letting him inside before she closed the door and turned to look at him.

"Grissom, does Hayden need something?" She asked as her hands wrapped around herself. Then she realised the bruises were visible to him, cursing to herself she bit the inside of her lip and hoped he wasn't as perceptive as he usually was.

"No, Hayden is fine, well with the exception that he is missing his mother." He said as he looked at her, his eyes sweeping over her body quickly. "I've noticed a few things this last shift and frankly, it has me worried." He admitted as he leaned his back against her breakfast bar.

"I miss him too, but I don't want him to be out of routine for Monday, but how about I come take him out to dinner tonight, all three of us could go out somewhere, for Hayden." Sara said softly as she tightened the grip on her slim figure. Listening to him her eyes widened a little. "What things?" She asked as she looked at him, she really didn't know what he was about to say.

"We can discuss that later, right now Sara I'm worried about you. What is going on?" He paused as he pushed himself away from the counter and moved closer to her, only for her to move back away from him. "You've got a layer of makeup over several bruises on your face, your arms are covered in bruises, you're jumpy, quieter than usual and you keep yourself from touching anyone, or letting others touch you. Nick touched your arm slightly and you leapt out of your skin!" Grissom sighed as he moved back against the breakfast bar, not wanting to crowd her.

Listening to him she closed her eyes and shook her head, moving over to the couch she sat down as she pulled her knees up to her chest. "I can't tell you." She said as she buried her face into her knees. She really didn't want to admit it aloud to Grissom what had happened to her.

"What do you mean you can't tell me Sara." Grissom looked at her confused. "What did you get attacked while you were away?" He looked at her and saw her reaction as she shuddered at the words coming from his mouth. "Sara, did you get sexually attacked?" He asked as the color drained from his face.

Hiding her face in her knees, Sara hated that he was putting it all together. Nodding her head at his final question she really couldn't look at him, she didn't want to see the sympathy in his face. She let the tears out, feeling the knees of her sweat pants getting soaked as she sobbed.

"Oh Sara." was all Grissom could say as he walked over to her, sitting next to her on the couch, he placed his hand on her back gently, rubbing softly as he felt the tears fill in his own eyes.

Sitting like this for a few minutes, Sara got the courage to look up at him, her eyes all puffy and red while his was filled with tears. She shook her head as she bit on her bottom lip and buried her head into his shoulder, feeling his arms wrap around her and hold her close as his hand rubbed her back gently.

"You can't tell anyone." She mumbled against his now soaked shirt. "Jim knows only because the Hawaiian police needed a contact here for me." Gaining some strength from Grissom, she sat back and looked at him. "The guy…. he got arrested a few hours after it happened. It's already been closed, just the courts in Hawaii have to decide how long he will be in prison for." Sara explained as she looked into his eyes. "Please promise me you won't tell anyone, I really don't want the sympathy looks or the awkwardness of people not knowing what to say." She said softly as she wiped at her face, drying up some of the tears.

"I promise you that I will not tell anyone." He watched her for a moment and thoughts filled his head. "When did it happen?" He asked as she sat still her hands now clasped together on her lap.

"Friday night, I had gone out for dinner after talking to you and Hayden, then I hit up the bar nearby, having a few beers this guy…" She paused as she laughed a little. "He sat beside me, chatting, he seemed nice enough, the conversation was easy, he was there from Texas, with a few of his guy friends and well I said goodnight, leaving by myself I was halfway back to the place I was staying and I suddenly heard footsteps behind me, before I could do anything he had me pinned down an alleyway. I remember a huge rock being stuck into my hip, it was as painful as hell." He eyes hazed over as she spoke to Grissom about it. For some reason, talking to him about it was helping. "Well, I did fight back, but he was a big guy, like add Nicks muscles with Warrick's build and height." She knew that Grissom would get the picture with that explanation. "Before I knew it he was…" She swallowed "Inside me and I couldn't do anything." She sobbed as she closed her eyes and started to shake.

**"It's okay I've got you." Grissom soothed as he wrapped his arms around her again, hearing what had happened made him so mad that anyone had touched her like that, he knew he was going to question Jim on it later but right now, Sara needed his support and he was going to give it to her. **


	10. Chapter 10

A/N Firstly I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update this! Children and illnesses are never ending, anyway, I really hope you like this chapter, I've been thinking this out since I posted the last chapter, it's quite a big part of the story so hopefully you will like it and please, pretty please with a cherry on top, leave a review for me, I love reading all your thoughts, so just fill in a little comment it would mean the world to me :D

* * *

I Gilbert Arthur Grissom admit that I am a complete ass, yes, you probably all have other, far worse names for me, and trust me I've called myself them all before, but right now, I don't know what I'm doing. Actually I do.

_Seven Years ago._

I can't believe that I've just done that. Okay so alcohol was involved, but I have never slept with a student before, Sara's not like any other student though, she's amazing, so smart, she challenges me and she is so so beautiful. I knew from the minute I saw her that it was going to be different between us. Ending up in my hotel room after our discussions took us to the bar downstairs. Yes okay I'll probably regret it in the morning when I sober up, but I know one thing is for sure, it wasn't just sex, something else was there, it was the best I've ever had, and I doubt I'll ever find anyone who will even come close to the way it felt with Sara. She's younger than me, fifteen years, but she didn't make me feel old at all, she made me feel younger than I've ever felt before. I just hope it was as good for her as it was for me.

_Six years and nine months ago._

I'm going to be a father, I never thought I'd say that, but I am, that one night I spent with the amazing Sara Sidle ended up that she has fallen pregnant and now I'm going to be a dad. Me a father, it's scary and exciting all at the same time, It was something I never thought I'd get the opportunity to do, to influence someone that is half of me. The only problem is that Sara lives in San Francisco while I live in Las Vegas, we need to have a proper talk when I'm not in so much shock, but in all honestly, I can't wait for the next six months to past and I can hold my child.

_Six years and three months ago._

Hayden is perfect, I'm officially a father now, Hayden is so beautiful . Sara and I came to decision that we would see how things would work with her in San Francisco as she is so close to reaching level three as a CSI, I want her to be successful, and I can always fly out or drive there, I'm going to talk to Jim and organise my days off to always be in chunks so I can spend a few days with Hayden. My son. He is so like Sara in the face, but has the Grissom dimple in the chin. I just can't believe he is finally here, I've held my son.

_Four years ago._

I've missed so much, his firsts, tooth, smile, step, run even, it's so hard that I live so far away from him, Sara relies on her friends and a neighbor to take care of Hayden while she's working, so it's not like she's getting to be with him all the time. I've suggested she moves here, or I'll even move there, but she has said that she can't let me give up all I've worked for here. And yet again we've had to take on some useless college leaver into the lab. Sara would be perfect in our team, it should be her we are hiring not someone that is doing everything textbook, it makes me so mad that I can't even get her to come to Las Vegas.

_Three years ago._

So after some hard discussions we've decided that I'm going to try get her a position in Las Vegas crime lab. Jim has just informed me that we've got yet another new start fresh out of college, I wonder how long this one will last. I got to spend a whole week with Hayden and it's amazing how grown up he is, he's like Sara and myself in so many ways, but he never fails to make me smile. The worst thing happened with that new start, she was shot on scene, I feel bad for her family, one day in the job and she was murdered. But it gave me the opportunity to get Sara into the lab finally. She had her friends pack up all her things while she and Hayden came her and she started work. I've found them a two bedroomed apartment near my townhouse as I know that Sara and I will not be living together, nothing romantically has happened between us since the night Hayden was conceived, and I doubt it ever will.

_Three months ago._

I've spent the best part of three years pushing Sara away, yes, I have refused to receive affection from Sara, the only woman that can make me feel the way she did and I'm pushing her away. And for the life of me, I don't know why anymore. It's become so hard, I really hate hurting her, but work, that's my main excuse, age is always another one I use, that's what I tell myself everytime I see her hurting. It;s getting unbearable when we have discussions on Hayden and doing things with him, school related things or just having family time. My mother adores Hayden and has taught Hayden sign language as it is her only form of communication. He's really good at it now, I can't believe that he picked it up so fast, but then I think about who is mother is and I don't doubt he's smart.

_Two weeks ago._

She is stressed, and I know I have done that to her, I'm feeling horrible right now but I can't let her in, I can't let anyone in, my heart is hollow, it's empty, no one gets me, I mean I'm nearly fifty and I've never had a serious relationship, I'm not capable of love, I should leave, just go, but there is one thing holding me back, Hayden. If it wasn't for my son, I'd be gone. She came to me, asking for time off. I couldn't deny her it, of course it would leave me short staffed, but she needs time to herself, I'm just hoping she's going to get over her lust for me.

_Earlier today._

So after recieving calls from her, on behalf of Hayden, I've heard a difference in her, I don't know what was going on, but she's different, and then she was stuck in Hawaii for an extra day, she did explain what had happened, then she came into work, something is definitely wrong. She's got more makeup on than usual, she's quiet and very flinchy whenever someone tries to touch her, she's drawn into herself and she has never been like that, not in all the time I've known her, she's been a confident woman, hell she even took on the guy who killed his wife. But I have to talk to her, I have to make sure she's okay.

_Now._

How anyone could do that to a woman, any woman is beyond me, Sara did not deserve that. I'm such an ass I pushed her away, this is all my fault I'm the reason she got attacked and raped. And I'm going to spend every breath till I take my last making up all the wrongs I've ever done to her, she is it, she owns my heart I swear, no one will ever touch her again. I love her. I admit it, I do. She is the only woman that has ever made me actually feel something. I see now that she deserves so much in life, she is never going to want for anything, she is going to be protected, she is going to know what it feels like to be loved by me.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N! Again I cannot tell you how much your reviews mean to me, they are what makes me want to keep going even when I'm knackered at the end of the day. So here we are again, another chapter for you all to read and hopefully review and make me happy happy (: Enjoy.

* * *

After about half an hour of them both sitting on the couch, Grissom looked down at the brunette in his arms, hating that he had been the one that had pushed her away so much that she had left Las Vegas and ended up getting hurt, badly. And now she was sobbing in his arms. nothing was spoken between them but Grissom knew that he had a lot to do to help her get through all of this. He didn't know where he was about to start but one thing was for sure, she needed to spend time with Hayden, and she didn't need to be alone, thinking for a moment he then reached down and tucked her hair away from her face.

"I think it might be a good idea if you come stay at the townhouse for a couple of days." He spoke out softly as he tried to read her reaction. "You shouldn't be alone honey." He added as he saw her hand move up to wipe at her puffy red eyes.

"I can't…" Sara dragged out as she shook her head. Although Grissom was giving her an olive branch, she didn't need pity. "You don't need to worry about me, I've been coping." She said in her husky voice.

"Sara, we both know you haven't and I want to take care of you, I want to be the one you look for when you need a little more support, staying at the townhouse allows you to stay with Hayden and gives me the knowledge that you are as okay as you can be under the circumstances." He explained as she shifted and sat up looking at him, her face red and her eyes puffy with the tears she had cried out while letting it all out with Grissom and now Grissom could see the bruise on her face, the black eye she was still supporting.

Looking at him she bit on her bottom lip and nodded slightly. Grissom was finally caring about her, but she had paid a huge price to get him to show that he cared, she couldn't believe that she was about to say it but she had to. "Okay, but I'll sleep on Hayden's pull out bed, I don't want any special treatment Gris." She said as she tucked her hair behind her ear. "I've really missed Hayden." She said as the tears built up in her eyes again. biting on her lip again she shook her head and looked up at the ceiling, before moving off the couch completely. "I need to freshen up and put a few things in a bag." She spoke out before leaving him sitting on the couch.

* * *

Another twenty minutes later, Sara had recovered the bruise on her face and packed up a few things, she had also changed into jeans and a long sleeved top pulling on a cardigan on top she was ready to go. Walking back into the living area, she looked at the man slumped on the couch, he looked as tired as she felt, "I'm ready to go." She said softly as she shuffled the bag on her shoulder.

Grissom quickly stood up and took the bag from her. "We will come back for your car when we need it." He spoke out letting her know that he was going to drive them both to his town house only a few blocks away. She nodded and grabbed her keys, cell phone and pager along with the kindle and two charge cables she needed for her cell and kindle. Knowing that between reading and sleeping was about all she could do right now. quickly putting the everything but her keys in her purse she followed Grissom out the door locking it behind her and slipping her keys in her purse."So what are we going to tell your mom and Hayden about me staying over?" She asked while they walked to the car.

Grissom looked over at her and shrugged his shoulders slightly. "I don't know, I mean you won't want them knowing the truth, I don't think Hayden would understand anyway, what do you think we should say?" He asked her, giving her the chance to decide what she wanted to say.

"Hayden wouldn't understand, you're right, but I don't want to lie to him either. Maybe we could tell him that I've had a few grown up problems and I'm taking some time with people around me to help?" She spoke out questionably, she wasn't entirely sure what they should say, but something had to be said. "You can tell your mom the truth." She said as she opened the passengers door and waited for Grissom to join her in the front of the car. Once he had she looked over at him. "Just tell her I don't want pity, it is not going to help me any." She added as she turned and looked out the front window, trying her hardest not to have tears fall from her eyes.

"She will be warned to treat you normal, and I promise you, I will try to treat you as normal as I can too." He said with a little smile on his lips as he watched her looking out the window. Starting the car, he pulled out of the space and drove in the direction of his home. "Oh, we need to go past the store, I have none of your vegetarian foods in." He smirked a little, knowing it was an ongoing joke between the three of them, Hayden always loved going to his fathers to eat meat, but Sara was a vegetarian thanks to Grissom and his pig experiment.

"Thank you." She spoke out softly as she watched him pull away from her building. Hearing his words she smirked a little. "Oh I've not had much of an appetite anyway, so I wouldn't worry." She spoke out as she wrapped her arms around her slim body.

"I can tell, those jeans used to do your ass justice, now well the sag in all the wrong areas." He grinned showing her a side of him he had never shown anyone, a playful side that he felt he could have with Sara.

"You've been checking out my ass?" She asked in shock as she looked over at him, her jaw loosely hanging slightly in shock of his words.

"Of course, it's a very fine ass, of course I'm going to check it out." He paused and looked over at her and winked and saw the shock in her face. "And it is the only one I check out too." He admitted, hoping that this would be a step in the right direction with their friendship.

Taking a moment to let it sink in what he was saying, her ass was the only ass he checked out, and he had noticed her weight loss, she shook her head slightly and smirked she was going to use this to her advantage. "Oh really, aren't there like rules against that in the lab especially, I mean, I know I'm the mother of your child but really can't I lodge a complaint or something?" She asked liking the lightheartedness of the conversation, it was taking her mind off of what she had admitted to him.

"Oh there are rules, and I'm sick of following them. And yes you could complain, but I doubt you will as I've caught you checking out mine too. And I'm the father of your son, I'd say it's allowed." He winked at her as he turned into the store carpark.

"I neither deny or agree to that, I may or may not have checked out your ass, but I can say you look awesome in jeans." She laughed a little as he stopped the car.

"So Miss Sidle, what are we going to do about each other checking out each other's asses?" He asked as he took the key out of the ignition. He sat and looked at her a small smile on his face.

"Oh Dr Grissom I don't know, what do you think we should do?" She asked taking off her seatbelt and turning towards him.

He looked at her and the smile grew a little. "Perhaps, when you feel up to it, you will allow me the honor of taking you out to dinner, on a proper date." He suggested

Sara looked at him, making sure he was being serious with her, but she knew that he wouldn't be that cruel to play about with her feelings at a time like this. Nodding her head a smile grew on her face. "I'd like that." She spoke out softly. Taking a deep breath it was all getting a bit much as her body ached still she made a move and got out of the car, waiting for Grissom to meet her before going inside the store.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N Thank you all again for your very kind words, I love reading reviews, it gives me a little buzz every time I get an email saying I have an new review, please please, keep them coming! Anyway, here is another update for you! Enjoy.

* * *

It didn't take them long to go around the store picking up several things for Sara to eat, the conversation was light hearted, it was easy between them, Grissom was joking around, a side Sara had never seen to him but was enjoying it. They managed to get to the townhouse, Sara was even smiling with Grissom's jokes, she couldn't believe that he was finally letting her in. But she had serious doubts in her mind. Why was he being so nice to her, was it because she had been raped, was this all sympathy, she looked over at him, he seemed relaxed a lot more than usual, his face was usually so tight, like he was hiding something, in fact if she was going to use a term to describe him now, it was happy, he looked happy. She wasn't about to question it, but she wasn't going to leap in with her heart first, she knew she had to protect herself from getting hurt again.

Pulling up at the townhouse they both got out of the car, grabbing a bag each, well Grissom carrying two and headed to the door, only to see it get swung open and Hayden run towards them, his arms wrap around his mom's slim figure as she used her free hand to hold him, she looked over at Grissom holding back the tears, she knew that the conversation about why Sara was staying there was going to be happening very soon but right now she was going to savor the love she was feeling from both guys.

After the hellos, they all headed inside and Grissom started to unpack the shopping while Hayden had Sara at the breakfast bar filling her in on everything he had been doing recently, it was good for Sara to get her mind away from it all, she focused on Hayden while Grissom disappeared to talk to his mother about it all.

Returning again Grissom was followed by his mother who nodded at Sara, and gave her the usual smile which made Sara wonder if she actually knew. It was when Grissom asked if Hayden knew yet it caused Sara to shake her head, giving them both a soft smile.

"Hayden, how do you feel about having mom stay here for a few days?" Grissom asked and signed as he stood beside Sara while Betty, his mother stood beside Hayden.

"Really? like a proper family?" Hayden asked, he had seen his friends living with both parents but had never actually had it for himself, he had grown up knowing that his parents weren't together.

"Well kind of, mom is going through a few grown up things and it's better for her to be here than back at the apartment alone." Grissom explained, Sara thankful that he had taken over talking to Hayden about it, her voice would probably deceive her and Hayden would pick up on that too easily.

Hayden looked at both of his parents and then at his grandma, shrugging his shoulders and then nodded. "It's fine with me, can I go play now?" He asked as he looked at Grissom, who nodded and watched as he hugged Sara again before running away to his bedroom.

Sara looked at Grissom and gave him a sad small smile. "Well that went better than expected." She said as she signed for Betty.

Betty took a seat on the breakfast bar stool that Hayden had emptied just moments before, she looked at her son then at Sara. "Gilbert has told me, I am sorry it happened to you, it should not happen to anyone. but as Gilbert told me, you do not want sympathy, so from this moment, everything is just going to be normal between us." Betty signed as Sara nodded with a slight smile at the end.

"Thank you Betty, you are right, it should not happen to anyone, but it is done and I just have to get on with my life now. Thank you for understanding." Sara signed as she took a deep breath.

"And on that note, I will be going home as there are plenty able bodies here to look after Hayden. Just call if you need me." Betty signed before sliding from the stool.

"We have both got work tonight so aren't you staying here with Hayden?" Sara signed confused as she looked at Grissom then back at Betty.

"Sara you aren't going into work tonight, neither am I. We are having a night here, focusing on you and spend some time with Hayden and maybe even a couple of movies afterwards." Grissom spoke, knowing his mother was reading his lips as he spoke.

"Grissom this shouldn't stop me from working, I'm fine, I've got to get back to normal." Sara sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair as she pushed it back.

"It's not stopping you from working, I am and I know you've got to get back to normal but one night is not going to hurt." Grissom wasn't about to back down and let Sara work right now, she needed time to get her body back to normal, she didn't need to be pushing herself.

"Okay, one night, but I really want to try get back to normal, I can't let this rule my life." Sara said as she watched Grissom, knowing that this wasn't the thing to argue with him about. Seeing Betty nod with a small smile at the corner of her lips like Grissom did sometimes, it caused her to look back at Grissom.

"Okay, now we have that sorted out, I will go and leave you all to it. Call me if you need me." Betty signed before hugging both of them and grabbing the small holdall she had put at the door before hand, then left the townhouse, leaving Sara and Grissom in the kitchen, rather close to each other, and Hayden playing up in his room.

* * *

After organising that Sara would be sleeping in Grissom's bed, while he took up the pull out bed in Hayden's room, giving Sara some personal space while she slept, Of course Betty's bed was empty, but Grissom respected his mother so much that he never even went into the room. It was her space that she had in his home, a space she had that she didn't have to be around Grissom or Hayden. It was her private sanctuary. As Grissom changed the sheets on his bed and dug out all the spare covers for the pull out bed in Hayden's room, Grissom was being amazing with Sara, considering everything for her.

Once all the beds were set up, Grissom started to make a meal for the three of them, Sara was sitting in the chair in the living area with one of Grissom's blankets wrapped around her and her kindle in hand, reading one of her novels while they saw no sight of Hayden who was playing up in his room. It was like this was how it was meant to be, they were doing and acting like this was everyday life for them, of course Sara was a little weary over her surroundings, but a gentle touch on her shoulder or hand from Grissom reassuring her that she was okay, helped her through the day.

Before they knew it, the day was gone, Hayden was tucked up in bed. At a loss of what to do, Sara started to look down Grissom's bookcase. As she read the titles, Grissom came from the bathroom and smiled at Sara. "I've ran you a nice warm bubble bath." He spoke out as he approached her slowly.

Sara turned and looked at him. "Okay thank you, who are you and what have you done with the Gilbert Grissom I've known for so many years." She asked softly.

"You are more then welcome, and he's right here, he's changing his attitude for you, you deserve better Sara and I'm going to work on making up for everything I've done wrong to you. But for a start, you've got a nice bath waiting for you, and while you are in there I'll make some chocolate brownies, yes the ones I made you when you were pregnant, and when you come out we can watch a movie while eating them. " He smiled.

Taken back slightly, Sara looked at the man in front of her, she nodded and smiled as he talked about the chocolate brownies, he had been in San Francisco at one of the scans and had asked her about her cravings and that had ended up him making chocolate brownies for her. With a smile on her lips she nodded again. "Thank you." Was all she said before kissing his cheek and walking into the bathroom.


End file.
